Notley
Credit: Rachel Notley on Twitter

Alberta Premier Rachel Notley is confident that boycotting B.C. wine is the right move. Wait until she sees how foolish she really is

With Alberta prohibiting B.C. wine, it’s fair to ask what we should reject from Wild Rose Country

On February 6, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley announced that her province will boycott British Columbia wine due to the ongoing spat between the neighbouring jurisdictions over the future of the Trans Mountain pipeline expansion.

Instead of continuing to discuss the matter in a reasonable way and settling it through the proper channels (i.e. the courts), Alberta has chosen to take a shot at a prominent B.C. industry. About 95 percent of Canadian wine sold in Alberta liquor stores is from B.C., the CBC reports, accounting for about $70 million per year paid to B.C. wineries. 

Is this one of the more juvenile responses we’ve seen from a province that suffers excessively from a Napoleon complex? Yes, it is.

No doubt Notley sees the writing on the wall, as many pundits expect the United Conservative Party (UCP) under Jason Kenney to wipe the floor with the incumbent NDP government in the 2019 election. If she can’t get this pipeline built, she’s dead in the water.

But B.C. isn’t planning to relent. In response to Notley’s infantile boycott, here are some Alberta things and people that we on the West Coast should think twice about.

Alberta beef

Yeah, yeah, we know: it’s the best beef on the market. But consider chicken burgers while Alberta and B.C. carry on their feud. In 2014, Alberta produced 73 percent of the beef consumed in all provinces. B.C. downs a significant portion of that export.

Call it going “cold beef,” or maybe consider actually following through on your New Year’s resolution to eat more vegetables.

Gluten-free bread

This is a no-brainer. Gluten-free bread was apparently invented in Alberta, and it would be very easy to stay away from. (Hint: we already are.)

Caesars

Ugh. This one’s a bit tougher. Maybe consider a mimosa next time you find yourself hungover at brunch. It’s hard, yes, but we can get through this together.

Chinook winds

Ah, the beloved warm blast of air over the frigid Alberta landscape. We don’t get these on the coast, so we can’t really boycott them; this is more a reminder to Albertans that because it’s warm here most of the year, chinooks aren’t necessary. Thanks, though.

Tommy Chong

Cheech Marin is OK, but though many think iconic comedy duo Cheech and Chong are from Vancouver, they only met here. Chong is actually from Alberta! Sorry, Cheech, we can’t in good faith support your buddy.

Nickelback

Thanks for giving us another reason, Notley.

Chuckwagons

Apparently chuckwagon racing in Alberta is a thing, and there’s actually a “Wayne Gretzky of chuckwagon racing,” and this is the funniest thing we’ve ever heard.

Crude oil

We have no place in this province for rude, ill-mannered oil. Henceforth, we shall boycott any oil that does not behave in a responsible way.

What did we miss? Let us know in the comments. And stay strong, B.C. We can do this.